Lessons from the Mountaintop

Lessons from the Mountaintop

Photo by Takae Goto

Family Peace Association youth leadership programs usually include a segment held in the great outdoors, an adventure hike or the like. This year was no exception and the hikers were given a chance to climb out to what was ominously dubbed “Blood Mountain.” Yet, the experienced hikers of the group came to see this as a misnomer, like calling a mountain of a man “Tiny.”

It wasn’t a hard hike but for the novices of the group, it was like death. Breathing and putting one foot in front of the other became unimaginable. Why would anyone do this? And for fun?

But another participant found himself connecting the lessons of the hike to the abstract lessons they were learning in the other segments of the leadership program. Clearly, the hike was one moment in time but he and all those around him struggling to take another step could see that it was everything that came before that hike that determined how the hike itself would play out. It was the choices in our every day, the choice to walk instead of ride a car, the choice to eat a little better, the choice to occasionally take a run that played out at that moment on the edge of a steep cliff.

Later, he reflected on how clearly that hike was such an amazing metaphor for life. Those who were prepared – not just physically but also mentally – got through the challenge and were better for it. They even seemed to relish the challenges and, amazingly, were helping others around them along the way. Those who had simply jumped in, unprepared but also alarmingly confident got the worst of it: their spirits and bodies were crushed by the overwhelming reality of their current state. They weren’t ready in mind or body.

And so, he vowed to be ready the next time. Not just for the next climb but for the next challenge that life might throw his way. He would be ready to look at it as his lucky day, his time to test his mettle. His time to grow.

In the next year, he started to plan his days and weeks out a little differently. He made small changes and goals to start. First, he simply challenged himself to stop riding his car to school; he could walk when the weather was fine. Then, he started to jog. And jogging became running, not only when he had to get somewhere but because running became something he liked to do.

Soon he began to feel that this wasn’t enough and so he started to research what he should be eating. What he might do to improve his sleep, his run time, his breathing. He started to check his pulse and well as his habit of grabbing buttered popcorn as he headed for the couch at the end of a stressful day.

Gradually, with his mind always on the adventure hike, he started to seek out harder physical challenges. Was there a mountain nearby where he might test himself? Would going with a buddy help him to focus on helping others rather than his own discomfort?

His friends and family were amazed at his transformation, even while it literally happened before their eyes. His sleep improved, his grades went from a smattering of Cs and some “half-moons” to the top of his class. He started to get involved in extracurricular activities that he had never professed to have any interest in.

It all started in the startlingly realization on his first adventure hike. He saw himself and saw that he had something he wanted to achieve. And he saw that it would be achieved not in that moment but in the process or quest to achieve that one, big audacious goal. In fact, it was that the victory was in the transformation of his life that all started from one choice at a time.

Have you ever had such an experience?

Checking Our Packs: Setting Out

Checking Our Packs: Setting Out

In our efforts to become God-centered families, we can work towards developing specific tools of critical thinking skills and channels for open and honest dialogue among family members.

In a sense, these tools function like navigation tools. To get somewhere, we need to know where we want to go and then know how we can get there. We also need to have a compass to keep us headed in the right direction as well as some things in case of emergencies and detours!

On our website, we feature a growing number of articles, activities, discussion questions to get us started to acquire the skills to build healthy, happy families.

Let’s take some time to summarize and articulate some of the conclusions you’ve come to together as a family through this process of building a healthy, happy family.

  1. Sitting around the camp fire can be a moment for family discussions.

    Destination: What kind of family do we want to have?

  2. What we’ll need:
    • Compass (so we’re headed in the right direction)
    • Maps (to plan, set goals/habits to get us there)
    • Tools (help us along the way)
    • Emergency kit (in case of conflicts, major/minor decisions)
  3. What other things do we need?

Try to fill in ideas in the different categories above.

Ask yourselves and each other: What do we have, what do we need? What don’t we need? What might be getting in our way? What do we want to work towards? Are we making room in our everyday lives for this bigger family goal?

No doubt, there will be adjustments along the way but knowing and becoming mindful of these things are going to help us be more conscious of our habits, behaviors, and decisions.

A Story of Thanksgiving in Nature

A Story of Thanksgiving in Nature

I bet that if people spent a little time each day, just a minute staring at the stars at night or looking out across forests, mountains, or sparkling water, they would live a lot differently.

I was trudging up a rocky trail, a worn path up a rather steep little mountain, my breath outlined in the crisp autumn air as I thought, “Why did I decide to spend my day off hiking?” I’d gone on the trail before and knew the workout I was up for. Not to mention the clouds looked a little dark and there was a layer of frost on the leaves in the yard when I got up in the morning.

Like many of us, I had been too caught up in work, family, life to slow down enough for some quiet time in nature. But after growing up in a nature-rich state full of pristine hiking spots, I consistently get an urge to take to the outdoors even after moving to a bigger city for a new job. So, today was another day I knew I would have to put on my boots, layer up, and get my dose of sweat and fresh air.

Usually, on the way up a mountain I don’t think about much. I think about the way the trail curves here and there and how strong gravity is, always aware of the temperature. It isn’t until I reach the top, sitting on the ledge of giant rocks overlooking tree lines and peaks with the warm sun on my face, that a whole flood of emotions and thoughts about life overtake me. The two hours of quiet hiking distilled into ten minutes of gratitude at the summit that I would not have experienced if I had just stayed home in front of a screen or dozing.

Those ten minutes at the top, feeling sweaty and accomplished, a thought came to me. What would I say at the Thanksgiving table this year? What was I grateful for?

There were so many things I could think of, but the quiet up there gave me a rare gift of clarity. I could allow myself to be vulnerable, recalling the happiest and the most painful experiences of my year and how I changed and grew. But I knew I couldn’t have grown without the help of some people who I didn’t actually take the time to truly express my gratitude towards. And maybe I didn’t have to tell all of them. Maybe it was enough to acknowledge within myself. But I thought I could thank at least one person and what better time than Thanksgiving?

Admittingly, on the way down from the mountain my thoughts were again preoccupied by making sure I took the right turns and the protest of my knees on the steep decline. But when I got back, a thank you note was carefully written, placed in an addressed envelope and mailed off to the recipient.

Spend a little quiet time in nature. Whether it is two hours or two minutes, the realizations you receive may not change your life overnight, but no one summits a mountain in one step.

Who is helping you climb the summits in your life? Don’t forget to tell them thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

One Step at a Time – Oh, and Focus on Your Breathing

One Step at a Time – Oh, and Focus on Your Breathing

The summit looked so far as it played peek-a-boo through the morning mist.

It always did at the start of the journey.

But Ken was experienced enough to know that if you kept looking up at the summit, it was easy to get discouraged.

The point was to start, one step at a time.

So, he took a deep breath of the crisp morning air. It filled his lungs. He could almost feel the clean oxygen moving into his muscles, invigorating them as he took his first steps of the day. He breathed out, making room to take in whatever lay before him.

He wasn’t starting blind. He knew the day would be hard. That peak was high, and he’d scaled enough mountains to know that it would be no easy ride. But his mind was set, he and his team had decided that they would reach the summit today.

With that resolve he set out towards the goal, step by step.

Some steps were harder than others.

Starting out on level ground, the steps came easy. Placing one foot in front of the other, he had enough extra energy to look around, appreciate the grass, the trees, the occasional small critter that scurried by, even exchange a few words with his teammates.

As the incline grew, he could feel the strain on his muscles.

At times, even placing one foot in front of the other pushed his limits. He enlisted extra support from his arms as they pushed against his walking sticks to pull his weight up against the pull of gravity. Sweat drenched the collar of his jacket and the rim of his cap. No one was talking anymore.

When you are going up, it only gets harder as you get closer to your goal.

As his body cried for relief, and even his mind tried to break free from the commitment of reaching the top, he found focus in a surprising place: his breathing.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Even when everything wanted to give in and give up, he could focus on keeping up this small, consistent act.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Just as his first deep breath in the morning, he could feel his breathing keep the rest of his struggling system oxygenated.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

As he kept control of his breathing, the rest of his body fell into rhythm with his breath, almost like cruise control.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

His mind calmed down and also fell into the rhythm of taking in, and giving out. He began again to see the world around him, the fresh air, the small vegetation, the shale on the side of the mountain. Only now he saw them clearer, he saw the relationships that tied everything together, including his presence.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

He heart began to swell with gratitude and wonderment of God’s design of the world as he witnessed how everything was created to thrive in relationship to each other, giving and receiving, just like his breath. This gratitude energized him, opened new sources of energy as he picked up the pace on the final stretch.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

He put his final steps down as they reached the top of the mountain and the valley opened below.

Ironically, the view revealed all the other peaks that they could challenge if they decided to.

He took another deep breath, taking in the beauty of the scene. As he released his breath, smile broke his face. They had done it, one step at a time, sustained by his breathing.

Back from the mountain, his experience remains as a powerful reminder that he can take on any peak. But when things get tough, or look intimidating from ground level, he knows to start with the first steps forward – and focus on his breathing.

Unplug: Lessons From Nature

Unplug: Lessons From Nature

Nature is one of the greatest classrooms life has to offer. College students from across the United States would learn many lessons in just a short week of their summer in the wilderness of Montana. Although a challenge to literally unplug from their normal daily routine, they would discover new perspectives on leadership, finding happiness and purpose, and nurturing a relationship with God while forging strong relationships with each other.

One 19-year-old woman from Seattle, Washington shared her story on connecting with God through nature and her growth as a person and leader:

I personally feel that being in Creation is one of the best ways that I can more closely connect with God, so I really appreciate this time that I had in Montana.

In the mountains, we were without our phones and other man-made distractions. We were forced to use the natural things around us, to watch over and care for others, and ask for help if we needed. Even just after five days, I experienced that we literally had to live for the sake of others in order to survive. It is only natural that we worried for others and also depended on others.

“When out in nature, I also saw that it does not take much for us to live happily in this physical world.”

Pumping water at a lake with the backpacking team.

When out in nature, I also saw that it does not take much for us to live happily in this physical world. Even in the woods, God had provided us with everything we need to live. Besides the food that we brought with us (or could have gotten from hunting and fishing if necessary), we had streams for water, flat and grassy lands for comfortable shelter, trees to hang food away from bears, wood to build warm fires, and all of nature’s beauty to enjoy. As we hiked during the day and rested during the nights, we also had one another to interact with and learn from.

They say that people learn a lot about one another and bond closely when we live together in the mountains, and I think that is very true! It was very refreshing to talk to my brothers and sisters not just about how they are doing, but also have conversations on a more deeper level. It was very inspiring to see others talk seriously about their faith and have a great interest in conversations about God and His principles and ultimate dream.

“People learn a lot about one another and bond closely when we live together in the mountains.”

In one discussion that we had during a break in hiking, everyone shared their own philosophy or way of leadership. Many said that it is to lead by example, to live for the sake of others, etc., but I was very inspired by one person when he said that ultimately, what he does, no matter what it is, should somehow connect to God’s dream. This makes even the most trivial actions very important. This, of course, is important for personal growth, but to connect this directly to leadership. This is not something I have really thought about. When it comes to leadership, I more naturally think about helping others and moving their hearts rather than improving myself, but it makes perfect sense that bettering myself and lining up my values to my faith in God will make me a better vessel for Him to work through, and ultimately, a better leader.

“A leader has to make difficult decisions to make everyone’s experience the best possible.”

Leading the team for the day

During this adventure workshop, I had the opportunity to be the trail captain for a day, and the team medic on another day. Both roles had me experience some challenges. A leader has to take into account many different factors depending on the situation, and oversee everyone’s personal situation and try to understand them. In the mountains, some of these factors included safety, injuries, hiking pace, water resources, the location of the campsite, etc. It was also difficult to try to satisfy everyone’s needs. Everyone came to Montana for a different reason. Some wanted to have the greatest physical challenge (like climb the highest possible peak), have solitude time, and experiences like that. A leader has to make difficult decisions to make everyone’s experience the best possible.

This area is special because people can fully experience God’s natural world and learn from Him.

The overall experience was amazing. I feel that I was able to gain some strength from this challenge for the coming year. I am going into my second year of college, and I want to make this a much better year than the last.

Facing Your True Self in Nature

Facing Your True Self in Nature

College students and young adults from across the United States traveled to the wilderness of Montana to participate in an outdoor workshop in September. This is a story from a participant, sharing what he learned from his experience in nature.

With thirty pounds of stuffed packs laying around us, we gathered near the trailhead to discuss the logistics of our upcoming journey.

“Who would like to volunteer to lead the trail today?” Our leader spoke up. A moment of silence followed.

“I can.”

I felt the pressure of the demanding position, but I wanted to challenge myself to break out of my shyness.

Our adventure program included five days and four nights of hiking. At the beginning of each day we took on responsibilities for specific roles and I had just volunteered for my first position: trail lead. Trail lead had three main tasks: reading a map to keep the group on the right path, controlling the pace and organizing the rest periods. Such tasks were important to get everyone to the destination on time to set up a camp and have a meal before sundown.

Backpacking through burnt trees.

Our journey upwards was peaceful without very many encounters with other hikers. We climbed up and down the trails surrounded by beautiful evergreens and refreshing creeks. Although we encountered barren hills, spiked with burnt trees, and even as swirls of ashes troubled our eyes and nose, such struggles were rewarded with the wondrous scenery of the lake shining under the sun.

Even with all the peace and beauty of nature that surrounded us, I often struggled from the discomfort that came with the responsibilities of my role. Stemming from my shyness, I continuously faced a weakness that I knew all too well — my fear of making mistakes.

I was unfamiliar with the tasks of my assigned role, including how to read a map. As a result, I found myself doing the bare minimum. Although I was able to avoid making big mistakes, I soon became consumed by a sense of defeat that followed my escape from the challenge.

Such an experience was difficult for me personally. However, looking back, I now realize that such a challenge was precisely the gift that nature offered, presenting me with the opportunity to identify and observe my weaknesses.

In my daily life, surrounded by flashy technology, busy schedules, and social interactions, it is easy for me to ignore the flaws in my character that hold me back. Making excuses was easy in such an environment filled with distractions.

“I can forget about it for now.”

“I have more important things to do.”

This constant delay in solving my problems led to negative emotions that I avoided by watching TV-shows and playing video games.

But, such tricks don’t work in nature.

When I was having a difficult time confronting my weaknesses, I couldn’t rely on a YouTube video and my favorite snack to distract myself. Instead, I had no choice but to face myself. The purity and simplicity of nature were such that I had to face my flaws and that helped me to set a sincere determination to overcome them. I came away on that day with a deeper understanding of myself.

College students hiking on the Continental Divide trail.

Nature can be a perfect place to evaluate ourselves clearly because it pushes us to reveal our weaknesses and limitations.

The physical hardship from relentless hours of hiking in hunger, cold wind and burning sunlight will bring discomfort; this reveals to us our true limitations in our interactions with ourselves and others.

And with the lack of distractions and excuses, nature can provide us with the great opportunity to have a more effective attitude in solving our problems, motivating us to change.

When I was complacent in my daily routine and stuck in my negative emotions, a week-long hike in the wilderness became an opportunity for self-evaluation to identify problems and offer solutions to the problems that kept me stuck. The time in nature filled with challenges and a peaceful environment became a great school for learning and spiritual growth.